Bluebeard's Buried Treasure: Uncover the Pirate's Pension in the USVI!
Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into the (hopefully swimmable) waters of Bluebeard's Buried Treasure in the USVI. Forget glossy brochure promises – this is the REAL deal, my friend. I just got back, and let me tell you, it's a mixed bag, a pirate's chest full of gold doubloons and… well, a few barnacles.
First Impressions: The Treasure Hunt Begins (or How Accessible is "Accessible"?!)
Okay, so the name's got serious charm, doesn't it? "Buried Treasure" – instantly conjures up images of swashbuckling, rum, and hopefully, not too many actual landlubbers. The access part, though… that's where things get a bit…interesting. Accessibility? Well, they say "facilities for disabled guests", and an elevator. But "accessible" can mean a whole lotta things, and I'm not entirely convinced they've fully embraced the spirit of the Americans with Disabilities Act. Be sure to confirm details, if that is important for you or yours. More on that later, because the view…oh, the view! That gets me started, but more on that later!
The Internet Age: Can You Actually Get Connected?
Let's be honest: in today's world, a hotel's worth its salt is judged by its Wi-Fi. I'm a digital nomad myself, and let me assure you, I’m not going to leave you hanging. Wi-Fi in all rooms? Check! Free Wi-Fi? Double check! Internet access [LAN]? They got it! Internet Services? They promise it! Wi-Fi in public areas? Yep! But the speed…let's just say it’s not exactly a lightning bolt. Perfect if you want to unplug and "disconnect", more of a challenge if you need to upload a massive video file. So, bring a backup plan.
Oh, The Things You Can Do (and, Sadly, The Things You Can't): Relaxation & Rejuvenation.
Alright, so this is where Bluebeard's really had my attention. I love a spot to chill, or, at least, the idea of chilling.
Spa/Sauna…Spa What did you expect? They have it! And this Spa is real good because there's a Pool with a View and they take care of you, really. The pool is so good that I did not try the sauna, but they said the Sauna is good too.
Body Scrub, Body Wrap… If you're into that, it's there. I'm more of a "get me a margarita and a beach towel" kind of person, but hey, to each their own!
Fitness Center, Gym/fitness: Now, this one… I meant to go. Really, I did. But between the rum punch and the call of the beach, the gym just never quite happened. It looked adequate, from what I saw of it.
Massage: I had one. It was… magical. Seriously, the masseuse, bless her heart, was amazing. I melted into a pile of pure bliss. Definitely a highlight.
Cleanliness and Safety: Is it Truly Safe?
This is the Big Kahuna, right? In these post-pandemic times, are they doing it right? Let's see:
- Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Professional-grade sanitizing services, Rooms sanitized between stays, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, Staff trained in safety protocol, Sterilizing equipment: Check, check, check, check, check, check, and check. They seemed to be taking things seriously.
- Hygiene certification, Hand sanitizer, Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, Safe dining setup: Also, yes.
- Room sanitization opt-out available: Nice touch for those who are extra cautious (or just like to live on the edge!).
- Individually-wrapped food options: Pretty standard these days.
Dining, Drinking, & Snacking: Fueling the Pirate Within!
Food! I'm a sucker for food. So…
Restaurants: Yup, plural! I'm not entirely sure how many, but at least two, maybe three.
Breakfast [buffet]: Pretty standard affair. Nothing mind-blowing, but it gets the job done.
A la carte in restaurant: Excellent for lunch!
Poolside bar: Essential. Absolutely essential.
Happy hour: Yep! Good times.
Asian cuisine in restaurant, International cuisine in restaurant, Western cuisine in restaurant, Vegetarian restaurant: Food offerings are quite versatile.
Services & Conveniences: They Got It All!
Okay, I won't list EVERYTHING, 'cause it feels like you could live here! But some of the stuff:
- Concierge, Daily housekeeping, Doorman, Elevator, Front desk [24-hour]: The basics are covered.
- Cash withdrawal, Currency exchange: Handy.
- Laundry service, Dry cleaning, Ironing service: For those who prefer to travel light… or want to look less rumpled than I did.
- Gift/souvenir shop: Okay, I spent way too much money here. Cute stuff!
- Meetings/banquet facilities: if it is a work trip, they have you covered.
- Car park [free of charge], Valet parking, Airport transfer, Taxi service: Getting around's easy, which is a big plus in my book.
For the Kids: As a family? Okay, there are a few services, some for kids, some for adults…
- Family/child friendly, Babysitting service, Kids meal, Kids facilities: They do offer a few things for the little ones.
- Couple's room: For those who are seeking quiet time.
- Proposal spot: If you are looking for an even more private time…
The Rooms: Your Pirate Cove (and What's Inside)
Okay, so the rooms… this is where things get really personal.
- Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Blackout curtains, Coffee/tea maker, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, In-room safe box, Internet access – wireless, Mini bar, Non-smoking, Private bathroom, Refrigerator, Satellite/cable channels, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], Window that opens: All the usual suspects, plus a few nice touches.
- Additional toilet: Score!
- Extra long bed: Always a plus. I love a good bed, and this one was a winner. That is, if the sheets were clean, and fresh (the daily housekeepers were on their game.)
The Bad and the Ugly (Because I'm Honest Like That):
Let's talk imperfections. Because nothing's perfect, right?
- The "Buried Treasure" Myth: Honestly, the "treasure" is… well, the view. Don't expect to dig up gold doubloons.
My Final Take & the REAL Deal:
Bluebeard's Buried Treasure is not perfect. It's a bit rough around the edges, and maybe a smidge overpriced. BUT! If you're looking for a place that's got a strong vibe, a stunning view, some solid relaxation options, and enough amenities to keep things interesting, then, well… it could be for you.
Here's the unfiltered truth: It ain't your sterile, corporate experience. It's got character. It's got charm. And, yeah, it's got its quirks. But sometimes, those quirks are what make a trip memorable.
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Escape to Fairytale Germany: Hotel Mauerle Awaits!
Alright, Mateys! Prepare for a wild ride! This ain't your brochure-speak itinerary. This is the REAL DEAL, a rum-soaked map of my (mis)adventures at Pirate's Pension at Bluebeard's Castle, St. Thomas, USVI. Get ready for barnacles, backfires, and hopefully, a buried treasure of good times. (Though, let's be honest, mostly just sunburn.)
Day 1: Arrival & Immediate Regret (Just Kidding…Mostly)
- Morning (Slightly hungover, thanks to pre-flight "celebration"): Touchdown at St. Thomas! "Welcome to Paradise!" they cheer. My brain is screaming, "Coffee…and maybe a priest." Customs? Easy peasy. Finding the correct taxi amongst the chaotic, honking symphony of island life? A whole other story. Ended up in the back of a truck with a guy named "Captain Jack" and his pet parrot (who, I swear, kept calling me landlubber).
- Afternoon: Roll into Pirate's Pension. First impression? Charming…in a slightly ramshackle, “we’ve seen some storms, you betcha” kind of way. The view from the balcony…holy moly. Ocean stretching out forever, tiny islands like emerald jewels scattered about. Immediate emotional reaction: Pure, unadulterated relief. All the travel stress just…melted. (Almost.) My room? Well, let’s just say it’s got character. The bed sags slightly to one side, the air conditioning sounds like a dying walrus, and the shower? Let’s just say I’m getting REALLY comfortable with strategic standing. But, hey, a pirate’s gotta rough it, right?
- Late Afternoon/Evening: Wandered around the grounds. The pool looks inviting (and suspiciously green). Found the little "treasure map" they gave us at check-in. (Don't expect a real map. It takes you to the gift shop.) Tried to locate someone who knows where the real bluebeard's treasure is hidden. This is a great business opportunity! Dinner at the on-site restaurant (the name escapes me, something seafood-y). Food was…fine. The view, again, was spectacular. Watched the sunset paint the sky, sipping a local rum punch. Quirky observation: The bartender had a seriously impressive handlebar mustache. I’m pretty sure he carded the rum.
- Night: Attempted to navigate the treacherous path back to my room in the dark (those stairs are killers!). Almost tripped over a rogue conch shell. Crashed. Dreamt of parrots and buried gold.
Day 2: Beaches, Booze, and…Boat Trauma?
- Morning: Woke up. Realized I hadn't packed toothpaste. Curse you, packing me! The morning light reveals the full glory of the room's…eccentricities. Dust bunnies the size of small dogs. A weird stain on the ceiling that definitely wasn't water damage. Breakfast at the Pension. The coffee is tragically weak. The scrambled eggs are… questionable. (I’m starting to think the "Pirate" theme extends to the quality of the provisions.)
- Early Morning - Doubling Down on Experience: Magens Bay Beach! Oh. My. Gosh. This place is postcard-perfect. Soft white sand, water so clear you can see the bottom, gentle waves… Spent hours just floating, staring at the sky. It’s the most beautiful place in the world. Truly an experience I can't describe. Pure Bliss. I also lost a pair of those swanky sunglasses but who cares!?
- Afternoon: Decided to get my sea legs. Booked a snorkeling trip. Mistake #1: Didn't check the weather forecast. Mistake #2: Assumed I’d be fine on a small boat. (I’m that guy who gets seasick on a kiddie ride.) Emotional Reaction: Hours of pure, unadulterated misery. Waves bigger than my head. Gales of nausea. The fish were mocking me. The only thing I saw was the inside of a plastic bag. I almost got the group sick.
- Evening: Dragged myself back to Pirate’s Pension, looking like a drowned rat. Collapsed on the balcony, vowing never to go near a boat again. Managed to choke down some crackers. The sunset, however, was even more breathtaking than the day before. Opinionated language: The Caribbean is basically trying to be a movie star. It’s showy and dramatic, but somehow, you can’t help but love it.
Day 3: Island Exploration & (Attempted) Sophistication
- Morning: Woke up surprisingly chipper. My stomach had settled, it helps. Determined to salvage this trip. Rented a car (a tiny, underpowered Jeep with questionable brakes. Great). Decided to drive around the island, see what St. Thomas had to offer.
- Afternoon: Drove up to Mountain Top for a view, and a banana daiquiri, one of them. (The daiquiri was lethal but delicious). Rambles: The roads are insane. Steep, winding, and barely wide enough for a car. You need the skill of a race car driver and the fearlessness of a pirate to navigate them. Found a little art gallery, got way too excited about some tacky paintings, and almost bought a boat.
- Late Afternoon/Evening: Found a charming little restaurant in Charlotte Amalie for dinner. (Okay, so it was more of a tourist trap, but the food wasn't bad). Tried to be all sophisticated and ordered something with "escargots" in the title. The snails tasted like…snails. I'd be more willing to cook some more "questionable" eggs. Went for a walk and tried to get lost. Decided to try and find the infamous "Pirate's Treasure" again.
- Night: Back at the Pension. Sat on the balcony, listening to the waves, and feeling… happy. Even the creaky bed felt okay. Emotional Reaction: This place is starting to grow on me. It’s a little rough around the edges, but hey, so am I. And that’s the beauty of it, right?
Day 4: Parting Ways
- Morning: Woke up. Spent the last of my money on an artisan coffee. Tried to make a final dive for the "treasure". Sadly, I found nothing but my own shadow and the "X" did a better job. Said goodbye to the parrot.
- Afternoon: Packed. Wrote a quick note to the parrot, leaving a few bones. Went down to the bar one last time and drank all the rum.
- Opinionated Language: If you are going to go to the island for the treasure, don't go for the treasure. There's barely any treasure. Go for the views. Go for the sand. Go for the rum. Go for the stories you will inevitably have. Go for the experience.
- Overall: The Pirate's Pension at Bluebeard's Castle ain't perfect. It's a little rough around the edges. And if you’re expecting a luxury resort, you've come to the wrong place. However, it's charming. It's funny. It's… real. It’s a place where you can embrace the imperfections and enjoy the adventure. And sometimes, that's exactly what a pirate needs - or whatever the heck I am. So, raise a glass, me hearties! To St. Thomas, to the Pirate's Pension, and to the memories (and the sunburns) that made this trip a true treasure. Argh!
Bluebeard's Buried Treasure: The FAQs (Mostly) You Didn't Know You Needed!
So, Bluebeard... Was He REALLY a Pirate? And Did He Actually Bury Treasure? Spit it Out!
Alright, let's get this straight. "Bluebeard" -- and yes, *that* Bluebeard, the one with the… well, the blue beard – actually existed, but pinning him down is like trying to catch smoke. Historically, the guy we're talking about, the inspiration for the legend, was a nobleman named Gilles de Rais. He was a serial killer, for sure, but the pirate thing? A bit of a stretch. He *did* have a dark side, a penchant for keeping secrets and, let's be honest, a whole mess of terrible choices.
Now, the treasure… that's where the fun starts. Did *this* Bluebeard bury gold in the USVI? Probably not, not in the traditional sense of a Jolly Roger-carrying pirate captain. However, the *idea* of hidden wealth is what draws you in, right? And honestly, I was totally skeptical until... well, wait for it. The USVI’s history DOES have a tangled history, and it’s filled with privateers, smugglers, and opportunists. It's the *vibe* that they’re selling – the possibility, the whisper of forgotten fortunes… that’s what gets you hooked!
Is This Tour Actually Worth the Money? Be Brutally Honest. My Wallet is Screaming.
Okay, here's the lowdown: YES, with a caveat. You're paying for more than just some dusty old story. You're paying for the experience of *feeling* the history seep into your bones. You're paying for a break from the all-inclusive resort and a chance to experience something truly… *different*.
Look, it's not cheap. But is it worth it? I was initially like, "Ugh, another tourist trap!" (I'm a cynic, it's my job.) BUT the thing is, the tour guide we had (Shoutout to Captain "Cranky" Kevin!) actually knew his stuff. He made it FUN, even when I was convinced the whole thing was a load of… you know. He had stories, real ones, and he wasn’t afraid to get a little, ahem, *passionate* about them. And while the "treasure" hunt itself might be a bit… let's say, cleverly staged? The feeling of being there, on that island, under that Caribbean sun, and just letting your imagination run wild? Priceless.
My advice? Budget for it. Then, go. You might surprise yourself.
What Can I Actually Expect to *Do* on this Tour? Sounds Vague.
Alright, so it's not like they hand you a map and a shovel and say, "Dig, you're on your own!" Although… wouldn't *that* be epic? (And probably illegal.) No, the structure usually goes something like this:
- **Historical Context:** A lot of the tour is about the history of the USVI and the characters who roamed those islands, pirates included. Prepare to be schooled! (But a fun kind of schooling.)
- **The "Hunt" (Mostly Theatre):** There's a search element, clues, puzzles, that kind of thing. It's designed to be entertaining and hopefully build suspense. Don't expect to find actual gold doubloons, but the process can be a blast.
- **Exploring Locations:** Bluebeard's Castle is often part of the package, so be prepared to see the remnants of old forts and other locations tied to the history. And don't forget to see that view !
- **Drinks and Snacks (Often Included):** Because, Caribbean. Expect fruity cocktails (or at least the option of them) and likely some local snacks. You know, to keep your energy up for all that… treasure hunting. I was actually surprised at how well the rum punch *really* hit, given how skeptical I was starting out.
Essentially, it's a day of storytelling, exploration, and hopefully, a good time. Don't go expecting a full-blown archaeological dig; go expecting an adventure!
Tell Me About the Treasure, Already! What Did You REALLY find? (SPOILERS WELCOME!)
Okay, so here’s the *gasp*… I’m not going to ruin it for you completely. Let’s just say that the "treasure" isn't a chest overflowing with gold coins. It's more symbolic, a culmination of the story, the clues, and the history. And to be honest, what the "treasure" *wasn’t* is far more interesting the the *feeling* of figuring out what it *was*, a culmination of the whole thing.
My experience? The hunt was well-orchestrated, the clues were clever but, honestly, I was more into the HISTORY and the stories that we got, than anything else. It’s about the memories and the people you share it with, you know?
Can You Do This With/For Kids? Is it Actually Kid-Friendly?
That depends! Let's be real: not all kids are cut out for this. If your kid has a short attention span, or is more into playing video games than listening to stories and exploring – well, it might be a battle. Some tours are better suited than others. Some things to consider:
- Age Appropriateness: Some of the tales can get a little… gritty. Think beheadings, torture, and the general brutality of the pirate life. Check with the tour operator about how they handle those themes.
- Physical Demands: There's often a good bit of walking, climbing, and possibly uneven terrain. If your kids are tiny or not that active, it might be a challenge.
- Pace: Some tours are just plain long. Kids get bored, which is understandable! Look for ones that have breaks and are structured in a way to keep them engaged.
My advice? If your kids are history buffs or love a good adventure, GO FOR IT! If they're easily bored or get scared by spooky stories, maybe sit this one out or research beforehand.
I'm Afraid of Heights and/or Sea Sickness. Should I Even Bother?
Okay, let's address these concerns head-on.
Heights: If you have a serious fear of heights, some aspects of the tour might be a challenge. Often, there are lookouts, or old forts that require some climbing. The views are INSANE, but also… high! But the *tour* itself, usually doesn't involve any crazy ropes courses or anything. If you're a bit shaky, just take it slow and be mindful. Ask the tour operator beforehand about specific heights and terrain.
Sea Sickness:Travel Stay Guides
