Escape to Paradise: Your Luxurious Azure Staycation Awaits!
Escape to Paradise: My Azure Staycation – Was it Paradise? (Spoiler: Mostly, Yeah!)
Okay, let’s be real for a sec. “Luxurious Azure Staycation Awaits!” sounds… well, it sounds like marketing. I was skeptical. But, hey, a staycation? In this economy? Sold! And boy, did Escape to Paradise deliver…mostly. Let's just untangle this whole experience, shall we?
Accessibility – The Real Test (and They Did Okay!)
First things first: Accessibility. My personal needs are limited (thank God!), but I’ve got friends who depend on it. Escape to Paradise… well, they try. The elevator is a godsend (essential!). There are facilities for disabled guests, which is a big plus. I poked around – the common areas seem pretty navigable. The exterior corridor is nicely lit and wide. The only real bump? I didn’t see details on ramps for the swimming pool [outdoor] or the pool with view area (which looked amazing in the photos). I did see CCTV in common areas, which adds a layer of security, and the accessibility of the Elevator made it easier for me. Hopefully, they're thinking about that. But for overall accessibility, a solid B.
Rooms: Azure Bliss (Mostly)
Alright, let’s get to the good stuff: the rooms! I snagged a non-smoking room (hallelujah!). Inside, it was… gorgeous. Seriously. Think calming blues, crisp whites, tons of natural light. The air conditioning worked perfectly. Bless. The extra long bed was a dream. I mean, I could roll around like a little king. They had all the usual suspects: Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Blackout curtains (essential for a good lie-in), Coffee/tea maker (my lifeline), a desk (for pretending I was productive), Free bottled water, a hairdryer, in-room safe box (I actually used it!), mirror, refrigerator (for storing my emergency chocolate), satellite/cable channels, shower, soundproofing, toiletries, towels, Wi-Fi [free] (thank god), and a window that opens (for that fresh air feeling). The bathroom phone was a bit… dated, but everything was spotless. They really nailed the cleanliness and safety aspect. They had smoke detector, and smoke alarms, which is a plus. The daily housekeeping was also excellent. The Linens and carpeting were fresh. They got a solid A for the rooms themselves. The only negative for the rooms was that I couldn't find a room with a smoking area, so if that is what you are looking for this may not be the place.
Internet (Free Wi-Fi Hooray!)
Okay, let’s talk connectivity. The big headline is Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! Which, yes, is a necessity for the modern traveler (read: social media addict). The Internet access – wireless was strong and reliable. I even tried the Internet access – LAN for a little gaming session, and it worked like a charm. They obviously care about internet services, which is great.
Dining: A Feast for the Senses… and Sometimes the Stomach
The dining situation was a mixed bag. The restaurants are plentiful. They offered Western breakfast, Asian breakfast, Asian cuisine in restaurant, and Western cuisine in restaurant, plus A la carte in restaurant, Buffet in restaurant, and Breakfast [buffet] options. The coffee/tea in restaurant was decent, though I'm a snob. I loved the bottle of water that was provided. The Poolside bar was a vibe! They had Happy Hour and Snack bar. The Desserts in restaurant were divine. The staff were super friendly. I was hoping my meal would come with a salad in restaurant but, I just could not convince them. I gave it a shot. The only negatives were the Soup in restaurant was very bland and the Vegetarian restaurant was limited. They offered Alternative meal arrangement if needed. Also, I tried the Room service [24-hour] once… and let's just say, it's best if you can wait until daylight.
Spa & Relaxation: My Personal Heaven (Mostly)
Okay, here's where Escape to Paradise really shines. The Spa/sauna! The Spa! The Steamroom! The Fitness center! I indulged. Let's just say I spent a lot of time at this place. I did a Body scrub, a Body wrap, and a Massage. It was glorious. The Pool with view got a lot of my attention. The Sauna was great (though I’m not a huge fan of the heat). The Swimming pool was stunning and felt like a little slice of heaven. The Foot bath was… well, it was exactly what my feet needed. They had Gym/fitness if you are looking to workout. I would definitely recommend this as my personal favorite.
Things to Do (Beyond Napping):
So, beyond the spa, what is there to do? Well, they have a Gift/souvenir shop… always dangerous for my credit card. There are Family/child friendly. They have an Outdoor venue for special events. Then, there is a Shrine. You can get an Invoice provided. They have Meeting/banquet facilities. The Terrace is lovely for a sunset cocktail. They have Meeting stationery. They have Audio-visual equipment for special events and Wi-Fi for special events, which is a plus.
Cleanliness and Safety: Pandemic-Era Peace of Mind
Look, it’s a different world. Escape to Paradise actually made me feel safe. They had Anti-viral cleaning products, Cashless payment service, Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, Professional-grade sanitizing services, and Rooms sanitized between stays. There was a Daily disinfection in common areas. They had Safe dining setup and Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, and the Staff trained in safety protocol. They were very keen on Hand sanitizer. They even had Individually-wrapped food options. They went the extra mile, and it showed. They also have a Doctor/nurse on call and a First aid kit. They have CCTV outside property.
Services and Conveniences: A Mixed Bag of Awesome
Okay, the little things. They have an airport transfer, which, yes! That’s a huge plus. There's a Concierge, a Convenience store, Currency exchange, Dry cleaning, Elevator is accessible, Facilities for disabled guests. There's Food delivery (perfect!), Ironing service, Luggage storage, Safety deposit boxes, Security [24-hour]. The Smoking area is a big plus, if you are a smoker. The Taxi service was quick and easy. They had Valet parking. The Car park [free of charge] was a bonus! They also have a Car power charging station. The Babysitting service could be useful. They have Air conditioning in public area and Contactless check-in/out. They have a Doorman and Essential condiments that I appreciated. They had Laundry service and a Front desk [24-hour].
For the Kids
They have Kids facilities and a Kids meal which is a plus.
Getting Around
They have a Car park [free of charge], and Car park [on-site]. They also have a Bicycle parking.
In this category the only negative was that they did not have Pets allowed.
The Imperfections (and Why They Don't Ruin the Vibe):
Okay, let’s be brutally honest. This place isn't perfect. The lighting in the hallways was a bit dingy. The service at the front desk could be a little slow at times. Some of the decor in public areas felt a touch dated. And, okay, the Wi-Fi did hiccup once. But honestly? None of it really mattered. Because overall, the experience was just… wonderful.
The Verdict: Book It! (But Manage Your Expectations)
Escape to Paradise? It’s not quite Paradise (nothing ever is, right?). But it's damn close. It’s a luxurious staycation that delivers on its promises, especially if you plan on lounging by the pool, getting a massage, and generally just escaping the world for a while.
Here’s your tempting offer:
Tired of the same old routine? Ready for a REAL escape without the travel stress? Escape to Paradise invites you to experience Azure bliss! Book now and receive:
- Exclusive Pricing: Enjoy our best rates, guaranteed!
- Complimentary Spa Package: Indulge in a relaxing massage and revitalize your senses.
- Free Upgrade: Upgrade
Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because we’re diving headfirst into the organized chaos that is my Azure Staycation by AMRS near the airport. Prepare for a schedule that's less "meticulously planned adventure" and more "winging-it with a vaguely optimistic outlook." Here we go!
Azure Staycation: Operation "Actually Relax, Maybe (Probably Not) – Philippines Edition
Day 1: Arrival and Airport Agony (Plus Maybe a Little Bit of Bliss)
- 10:00 AM – Arrival at NAIA (Ninoy Aquino International Airport): Okay, first off, let’s get real. This airport. It’s a whole experience. Hope I didn’t have a nightmare flight, because here is where I spend my next few hours if the plane is delayed. I'm already sweating. Just thinking about the baggage carousel tango and the potential for a "lost in translation" taxi ride fills me with a specific brand of dread.
- 11:30 AM (ish) – The Great AMRS Shuttle Quest: Praying the AMRS shuttle is actually there. I’ve heard whispers… legends… of shuttles that magically vanish. If this goes sideways, I'm going to have to unleash my best, horrible, Tagalog in a plea for help. Here goes nothing.
- 12:00 PM – Azure Staycation Check-In: Finally! (Hopefully it's not a disaster): Okay, getting a room with a view is a MUST. Dealing with a long line at the check-in counter is a MUST-NOT. I'm aiming for a room with a comfy bed, and maybe, just maybe, an intact air conditioner. "Dear Sweet Baby Jesus, Please Let the AC Work."
- 12:30 PM – Room Reconnaissance and Emotional Breakdown (Optional): Okay, am I in a decent room? Are there any bugs? Crucial questions. Inspect, inspect, inspect. Give the bed a dramatic flop test. I've got a bad feeling, but I'm getting a bit hungry.
- 1:00 PM – Late Lunch (or Early Snack, Who Am I Kidding?): Time to scavenge for food. Is there a restaurant in the AMRS? Or am I stuck with instant noodles and guilt from the 7-Eleven just down the block? Should I venture out and get more adventurous? I'll have to change my mind.
- 2:00 PM - Poolside Contemplation (or Panic): Sun's out, guns out, right? Nah, I'm probably going to sit there and worry about all the emails I haven't answered. However, I'll need to push through my doubts to sit next to the pool. Time to see if I can properly enjoy a dip in the pool, while simultaneously battling the urge to check my phone every two seconds. This is relaxation, right?
- 4:00 PM - Nap Time? (Probably Not): I'm planning on this, but chances are I'll be too wired. I'm probably going to fidget around and stare at the ceiling.
- 6:00 PM – Sunset Drinks (and Maybe a Bit of Existential Dread): Poolside bar for a cocktail (or three). Let’s face it, the sunset is just for show. It's here to taunt me as I contemplate the vastness of the universe and my place within it.
- 7:30 PM – Dinner (Hopefully Delicious, Praying It's Not Sushi): What's on the menu? Anything but sushi, please! (I have a thing about raw fish and the Philippines). Finding a restaurant will be a great, memorable experience, assuming my stomach is not feeling too nauseous from the plane ride.
- 9:00 PM – Evening Entertainment (Or Just Netflix): The possibilities are vast! Maybe there's a karaoke bar? Or I could just watch a movie in my room, pretending I'm not a total hermit. Decisions, decisions.
- 10:00 PM – Lights Out (Maybe) and Pre-Sleep Anxiety: Can I actually sleep? Or will I just lie awake, replaying every awkward moment of my life? Only time will tell.
Day 2: A Day of (Possibly) Meaningful Activities
- 7:00 AM – Wake Up and Regret (Or Maybe Actually Wake Up Happy?!): I swear, the sun rises at the crack of dawn here, and I'm going to hate it. Hopefully, I feel refreshed.
- 8:00 AM – Breakfast Buffet Blitz: Okay, the breakfast buffet is my chance to redeem myself after yesterday's lunch disaster. I'm going for the whole spread. Eggs, pancakes, pastries, the works!
- 9:00 AM – Exploring the Area (If I Feel Up To It): Honestly, the area near the airport is not exactly a destination. But if I'm feeling adventurous, maybe I'll check out a local market. Or maybe I’ll get lost. Either result is okay with me.
- 11:00 AM – Back to the Pool (My Comfort Zone): Let's be real. The pool is my happy place. Spending an entire day here and being away from the worries of the world would be magical.
- 1:00 PM – Lunch near the Pool: I'm going to order the most delicious, greasy food. I'm just going to eat it and not think about it.
- 3:00 PM – Spa Time (If My Wallet Allows): Okay, I am willing to splurge. Just a quick massage to release all that tension and stress. Ohhh, yes. If I end up doing this, it's going to be memorable.
- 5:00 PM – Last Sunset Drink Ritual at the Bar: This is going to be the best time. The last time I can be here. The last time I can drink a cocktail and ponder on everything.
- 7:00 PM – Final Dinner: Farewell Feast: Okay, the pressure's on. I need to find a restaurant or just order room service. I'm feeling anxious.
- 9:00 PM – Packing and Pre-Departure Panic: Okay, time to pack. I'm already dreading going home. I haven't even left yet, and I'm sad. The end is near.
- 10:00 PM – Lights Out (Maybe For Real This Time): Just. Sleep. Please.
Day 3: Departure!
- 6:00 AM – Wake Up and Groan: Ugh. Goodbye Azure Staycation. Goodbye to the good life. Back to real life.
- 7:00 AM – Breakfast and Last-Minute Panic: Eating breakfast, making plans for the future.
- 8:00 AM – Check Out and Shuttle Drama (Again?): Pray. Pray, pray, pray that I get a shuttle on time. Pray that everything goes smoothly.
- 9:00 AM – Airport Farewell and Existential Crisis: Okay, goodbye Philippines. I'm going back, eventually, right?
Post-Trip Thoughts:
Okay, this is the plan. Will it actually go down this way? Absolutely not. Will there be moments of sheer bliss? Maybe. Will I have a total meltdown? Probably. But isn't that the beauty of travel? The mess, the spontaneity, the utter unpredictability? I hope I have a good memory.
Final word: I will be back.
Landmark 81 vs. Landmark 5: Which Vietnam VIEW Will BLOW YOUR MIND?!
So, what *IS* this "Escape to Paradise" thing anyway? Sounds suspiciously like… vacation?
Okay, okay, yeah, it's a *vacation*. But a *staycation*! Get it? In other words, it's paradise (supposedly) without the whole airport-security-and-jet-lag-and-lost-luggage palaver. We're talking a swanky hotel pretending to be a tropical island. Luxury! Azure! Sounds idyllic, right? *Narrator voice:* (It wasn't always.)
I mean, the brochure showed people laughing, sipping cocktails the size of their heads, and generally looking… *relaxed*. That’s what I was going for. Except relaxation is apparently allergic to me, and my personal baggage claim is more like a comedy of errors.
Alright, alright, *what’s* actually included? No hidden fees, I hope…
Oh, the fine print! They *say* all-inclusive. And to their credit, they *mostly* are. You get the room (duh), the pool (good), the buffet (which, let’s be honest, is a gamble), and various activities. Think: yoga (which I am convinced is just sanctioned torture), spa treatments (heavenly, if you can stay awake), and the "themed nights" (more on those later… prepare yourselves.)
But here’s the kicker: the ‘premium cocktails’ are *extra*. And the really good coffee. And, inevitably, anything that *remotely* resembles real food after the buffet. So, budget accordingly. My bank account still whimpers.
The Room: Is it… you know… *nice*?
The room... well, let's just say the pictures on the website were taken with a *very* wide-angle lens. It looked... *spacious* online. In person? It was a perfectly adequate hotel room. Clean, with a decent bed. My room was "ocean view" - a slight stretch, since it was "ocean adjacent" and I could see a sliver if I leaned out the window at a seventy-degree angle. The bathroom was functional, but the water pressure occasionally decided to take a nap. And the air conditioning? It had a mind of its own. One minute I was shivering, the next I was practically desert-dwelling. Classic.
And the "complimentary welcome basket"? A tiny bottle of something that *claimed* to be champagne, and a couple of dusty cookies. Definitely a letdown.
Tell me about the FOOD. Because, honestly, that's half the battle, isn’t it?
Oh, the food. The culinary rollercoaster. The buffet… it’s an experience. An *experience*. Picture yourself standing in a room of a million people, all armed with tongs (like tiny, hungry raptors!), eyeing up the questionable offerings. Sometimes the food was good! Sometimes… well, let's just say my stomach felt like it was staging a protest. I am convinced the chef responsible for the scrambled eggs was actively trying to destroy the concept of breakfast.
There were "specialty restaurants," too. The Italian place was decent. The seafood place? Overpriced and… the fish tasted a *little bit* suspicious. Let's just say I made a *very* close acquaintance with the hotel's (lovely) porcelain. Twice. So, yeah. Food: mixed bag. Bring your Pepto-Bismol.
Let's get into the activities! What can you *do*? Seriously, is there anything worthwhile?
Okay, the activities… this is where things get… interesting. They have the usual suspects: swimming, sunbathing (which is, frankly, terrifying considering my complexion), and the aforementioned yoga (see above, regarding torture). They also have a schedule of "themed nights." Oh, the themed nights. One night was "Caribbean Carnival." Complete with questionable costumes, a DJ who clearly hates music, and a conga line that somehow got smaller as it went along (I'm pretty sure people were just… vanishing). Then there was the "Tropical Luau," which involved a giant roasted pig (not for the faint of heart – or vegetarians) and a fire dancer whose performance was... exuberant. I was, shall we say, "voluntarily" pulled on stage to participate. Turns out, twirling flaming batons, is not my forte. The whole experience was simultaneously the most embarrassing and most exhilarating thing I've ever done. That night I understood why people pay good money to watch a spectacle of themselves. My awkwardness might have been the main event, but hey the crowd loved it.
There were also water sports. I attempted kayaking once. I spent more time upside down in the water than actually paddling. Then there was the spa… which was, thankfully, wonderful. Deep tissue massage? Yes, please. Worth every penny. Even if I did snore. Don't judge.
Spa: worth it?
YES. Absolutely, unequivocally, *yes*. Run, don't walk, to the spa. Get a massage, any massage. A facial. A body scrub. Honestly, just go and collapse on a massage table and let them work their magic. The world melts away. Even the memory of the questionable fish. It's the one part of the "Escape to Paradise" experience that *truly* delivered on its promise. Just… be prepared to fall asleep and snore. It's inevitable.
Any actual *problems*? Spill the tea!
Oh, honey, there were *plenty*. The air conditioning broke in my room. Twice. The Wi-Fi was so slow that I could’ve hand-written a letter and mailed it faster. The elevator got stuck. And the staff… well, they were trying. Bless their hearts. But sometimes, there was a definite language barrier. Trying to explain that I needed a new towel and not a *giant* pool towel was a real adventure in charades. The biggest problem? The people! Okay, that sounds awful, but I am not a people person. The amount of loud families, the constant line for the bar, the screaming kids at the pool - it was more than I could handle. I spent most of my time trying to find an empty corner to be alone.
